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I get a lot of satisfaction out of seeing people make it to that point because many never do.''Dear Baby, I used to write you letters like this all of the time,' she begins.

'I have waited so very long for you to come into my life, and I want you to remember that no matter what people out there say about us just know that you are a gift from God.

'It has been quite a painful journey for me, and I never thought I was going to make it out alive': Following her fiancé Casey Johnson's death in 2010 due to diabetic ketoacidosis, the star attempted to take her own life, which led to a rehab stint in 2012, though she is proud to say she's now living a 'sober life' 'You saved my life sweet baby! Love Always, Mommy.'She also took the opportunity to thank fans for their love and support while also apologising for her behaviour in the past, which she describes to Us Weekly as 'hurtful, embarrassing and sometimes erratic'.'I am so very excited about the baby and I do also want to apologize to anyone that I have ever hurt in the past.

That is more than a miracle, and I love you so very much! You are so very special, and never ever let anyone tell you otherwise! I hope everyone knows that it was never my intention.

Following the tragic death of fiancé Casey Johnson in 2010 due to diabetic ketoacidosis, the star attempted to take her own life, which resulted in her suffering a brain aneurysm, and subsequently led to a rehab stint in 2012.'My side of the story has never been truly told over the past five years, as I have kept so much bottled inside of me,' she tells the publication of her decision to step away from the spotlight to focus on her wellbeing.

'I truly feel that my baby has saved my life': The star took a break from social media as she focused on getting her life back on track in recent months, returning on April 16 just in time to share her thrilling news with fans, gushing, 'Surprise!! I just couldn't hold it in any longer''It has been quite a painful journey for me, and I never thought I was going to make it out alive.

She first gained recognition for her active presence on social networking websites.

The father-of-three, who is raising his daughters with the former reality star in his native Whitesburg, Georgia, gushed to the website about the new addition(s) to the couple's family as he confirmed the exciting news.

'To finally be blessed with my first child gets me so emotional that I can barely even handle it': Tila Tequila shocked fans when she announced her pregnancy on Facebook on April 18, while she has now opened up about the exciting new chapter in her life as her baby daddy is revealed 'Yes ma'am I am the father of her/our baby': Struggling musician Thomas Paxton Whitaker, 42, a dad-of-three from Whitesburg, Georgia, has been identified by Radar Online as the father of the former reality star's unborn child - and he couldn't be happier, gushing, that they are 'all very happy''Tila is right around 10 weeks into her pregnancy, and yes ma'am I am the father of her/our baby,' he adds.

“But one day I texted and she was the cutest thing ever. I thought, I cannot believe this is the Casey Johnson people used to tell me about.” On their first date, “She was so nervous at my house. “Casey and I were working out [getting custody],” says Tequila.

And they didn’t waste any time moving the romance along. They call us U-haul lesbians and that’s what we did. I have two bedrooms and she filled up the entire bedroom and guest bedroom with all her shoes and clothes. “She was so nervous and so cute and finally she pulled out this fat ring that I had never seen before.” After presenting Tequila with the 17-carat diamond, the Johnson & Johnson heiress said, ” ‘Will you please wear this? “We started laughing and crying.” RELATED: Casey Johnson Pal Takes a Shot at Tila Tequila Though Johnson maintained another residence, where she was found dead on Jan.

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